Episode 8 – Television

Take a good look at television. It pretty much sucks. Now look at the people who are on Television. Ozzy Osborne, Hulk Hogan, Flava Flave… have we noticed a pattern? Anyone who was famous in the 70’s and 80’s can now revitalize their career and get back into the spotlight with a reality TV show. So if 80s stars are getting their own shows shouldn’t video games get their own too? Or will we see a slue of re-imagined titles on today’s consoles?

I’m not condoning reality television, not by any means. Though a house where Sonic, Mario, Luigi, and Crash Bandicoot, all live together would be hilarious. Sonic would be huffing paint and pissed off at Mario and Luigi. Sonic feels that they are responsible for Sega’s downward spiral and drop out of the console race. Crash would kind of be friends with Sonic, but only because secretly he doesn’t like Mario. Luigi is everyone’s friend, and that guy you can count on when you’re really depressed. Mario would be a cocky bastard, cause lets face it… he’s Mario.

Unfortunately these characters aren’t real. If they were VH1 would have already signed them to a contract. But shouldn’t the old video game characters have their own cartoons? I’m not looking for something like the Super Mario Super Show… (remember that show… good times). Well, maybe I am. A place to follow Mario and Luigi’s adventures as they face villains like Bowzer, Donkey Kong, and Big Boo. It could be fun.

Maybe a Zelda series on CW that could air before Super-… er… Smallville. You know something like that written by Joss Whedon (Buffy and Firefly) would probably be pretty good. There has been an abundance of video game movies, and more and more are coming.

As I am typing I think maybe these shows aren’t a good idea. Maybe I would be destroying someone’s childhood… much that Cat in the Hat movie. Is it possible that these shows don’t exist because they would be too ridiculous? The last Mario game I played (Mario Sunshine) he didn’t even grow. What’s up with that? Mario is supposed to eat mushrooms get big and then inevitably shoot fireballs. Once Mario dropped into 3D world everything kind of changed for him. Samus was able to make the switch as was Link but he was always kind of in a 360 world anyway. Those side-scrolling characters had rough times. Sonic never got over it. The Sonic games of late have been plagued with bad cameras and terrible controls. He will be remembered for his roll in the side- scrollers and that’s all.

Although I think it would be pretty fun to see some darker more mature animation of characters of yester year they had enough problems moving into 3D gaming, a television show might not be the best idea, even though there is a built in fanbase.

However, not all is lost for video game based television shows. It seems Pokemon has paved the way for a new type of tv/video game relationship. Instead of having a game come out, be successful and then base a show off of it, launch the show with the game. In essence making kids watch a 30 minute commercial for the game every week. Pokemon did it for Nintendo. Now Viva Piñata is doing the same for Microsoft. It’s a pretty crazy idea. But I know kids will tune in, and this game will sell like hotcakes.

So, long past are the days where one could watch the Super Show and see Mario and Link’s adventures. If they are not going to be creating new shows, can we at least have the Super Show on TV Land? That would make this writer very happy.